Valentine's Day

Today makes me think of lovers past.

Not that I ever really celebrated with them. Valentine's day has typically been just another day to me. I've always operated under the idea that one should show love everyday, not just on one day.

Today I only think of the sweet things they've done for me. The man that spent my birthday weekend with me, making sure it was nice-- unlike the three or four birthdays before. The man that always remembered I love gummi bears and chocolate when I'm on my period. The one that taught me how to do simple car and home repairs so I could be more self reliant. And the one that I thought I would marry. Although we had more bad times than I care to remember, there were also blissful times, beautiful times that I felt truly connected to another human. There are more than I can list, and those are how I think of him. I am thankful for the men that cared for me, even if it was just in passing.

I'm at a point now that my concept of romantic love has changed. I wouldn't have this if it were not for those lessons from lovers.

It's much more than "just holding hands" (although that is my favorite part).
It's more than lust and looks. More than having the same friends and going to the same places.
It's a mutual respect, related interests and differences, similar morals, and shared goals and dreams.
I'm looking forward to exploring these things with someone. Exploring myself and pushing boundaries along side a man who is walking a similar path.

Complaining Cause I'm Ovulating

It's obvious my period is almost here. Everything today is pissing me off, it's the little things that make me realize it. 

Around town:

I live in Hamtramck. It's a small city inside of Detroit that is predominately Polish. For the most part, Detroiters (as defined by those who live within the city proper) don't think Hamtown is worth a damn unless they are going to the bars for a show, or to Polish Village Cafe/ Polonia. Suburbanites pretty much feel the same way except they don't even go to the bars. 

Then comes "Fat Tuesday", the day before Lent. On Fat Tuesday, it is tradition to booze it up and eat as much bad-for-you-food as one can. The primary bad-4-u-food is the pączki. The only legitimate paczkis come from the bakeries in my town.  They start making them a week or so in advance to send out to grocery store chains in the Metro Detroit area. On Fat Tuesday (which is today) Hamtramck is overrun with tourists. 

I didn't even go to the bakery today because I didn't want to have to wake up an hour early just to stand in line for a god damn doughnut. I drove down Jos Campau just to see if maybe I was over exaggerating my memories. Nope. It was even worse than I recalled. Not only were there lines around the block at the bakeries, but there were drunken idiots in the streets. At seven a.m. there were people who were obviously inebriated, strolling through traffic as if the cars were the ones in the way. I shudder to think what the pubs looked like. 

I'm of Polish decent. I typically think it's a bunch of malarkey when people get uppity about their "ethnicity". My family has been in America for almost one hundred years now. I am the second or third generation born here (maternal/paternal). At this point, I identify as an American. HOWEVER, being a Polish girl, who often gets mistaken for an "off the boat Polack" living in a Polish neighborhood, on this specific holiday I'm starting to understand why the Irish get all pissed off on Saint Patrick's Day when "whitey" starts acting a fool and disgraces the whole thing. 
Mostly it's just the disrespectful tourists that irritate me. They double park, litter, and never tip well. My bartenders deserve better than that for putting up with those shmucks.



Shopping for glasses online:

Who the fuck did they pay to take these photos? All of the frames that aren't black, are totally washed out. I can't buy something if I can't even tell what it looks like. Are those clear rims made from plastic? Maybe silver? Perhaps they are held together by magic...

At work:

My office is located in a hotel. It's on the bottom floor near one of the entrances.

I recently put a sign on the door. Been having this problem where people walk right in the office without knocking. This is not cool. Number one, you need to knock on a door when it's closed. It's rude to enter without knocking. Number two, I am not the receptionist. This is an independent business. There are directory signs, that if guests would just read, they wouldn't be bothering me.

To combat this, I put a sign at eye level on the door stating that if you do not have an appointment with [insert agency I work for] please do not knock or enter. It then goes on to say where all other inquires can be answered.

Three, yup three different people walked in today. Not one of them knocked. Obviously none of them were here for me. This disrupts my clients, who already have attention issues, and it irritates me. I wish people would stop and think, maybe read a sign before asking questions or acting upon rude impulse.

I can only imagine how my ride home will be. Perhaps I'll pop in at the bar and have a shot of Jezynowka or jessi (pronounced yeh-jee) with the tourists to calm down before I go stock up on tampons and chocolate.