It Took Less Than Ten Minutes For Me To Become A Pretentious Asshat

I was eating underground
Root vegetables
Organic produce abound
Producing nothing of substance
Sustenance

The irony is not organic and
It's lost on me
That culture
It's not where I want to be

They gave me a map
It told me where to find all the locally sourced narcissism
Places producing sustainable self concern under a guise of anti consumerism

The irony is not organic and
It's lost on me

I was drinking underground
Bought me some friends for the price of an Ethiopian slow drip
Was trying to filter out the bitter,
But realized it would be tossed like litter
Out the window by these tragically hip

Are they the "bitter"?
Am I the bidder?
Biding my time placing bets on the better
I'll lose on these folks
Eat the cost of the loss

After my fill of wining and dining
I'd decided not to buy it
Root vegetables
It matters who supplies it

Act Like A Lady

It's hard to be a woman.

I know, I know. I live in a time and place where women have more freedom than ever. I should consider myself lucky. But am I?

Am I lucky when the landlord for my office building looks me up and down while he speaks to me? Should I feel fortunate when in the twenty or so paces it takes for me to walk to the party store for a bag of chips that the guy on the sidewalk tells me how good I look "If I may say so?" Funny, he didn't ask till after he said it and then pried further for my phone number. Am I to rejoice every morning that I argue with myself about whether or not to put on makeup, for fear that one of my clients may find me attractive if I do apply some eyeliner?

Is it fair to others that I have been so jaded by my daily interactions with men that I now find it difficult to even have a casual exchange at a friend's birthday get together? I often intentionally avoid introducing myself first or bringing up topics of discussion in social situations because I have been taught to expect that any politeness on my end will be mistaken for interest. 

Fuck it. I got distracted by snacks. I can't be serious when there's mujadara involved.

EDIT:

I just stumbled across this video and found it to be slightly related.

On...

On Meeting:

A handshake is a sign of the lines a man has walked through his life

and if I define a man by his mind I should see it in his kind

eyes, are the window to the soul and if you let it roll past eight seconds

you might find the goal isn't really to know.

On Marriage:

To a degree the placement of filigree is something that I disagree is necessary,

but when you grow up with Disney Princesses it's hard to miss the diss of not committing 

the social atrophy of

marriages leading to carriages in a world lost without empathy

On Affairs of the Heart:

I want my love to start like a Beatles song

the uncomplicated tune that rolls along

It starts because you held hands

not because we rolled through blankets

put up without patience

to explore vaguely familiar lands

of vulnerable nakedness 

Can a man know my heart and mind?

I leave it behind all the time

Both of them at the starting line

I pick them up, dust them off and jam em back in

typically ready to begin again

Not this time with my heart and mind

They are doing just fine

beating rapidly, but I can't lie

how susceptible I am for things to go awry 

All it really takes is that kind eye

It's there, I saw it in his stare, intense behind chartreuse fogged eyes

I know, it's not going to go, because it's easy to let your feelings show

when you've already made the right ties

Because you know

when two are in the flow, there's no need for a starting blow

to signal the beginning of what you've already shown 

Conversation is the window

Yes!

It's a much sexier way to undress, using words instead of burlesque

No Money

From edgarmcherly. Great comics. All of them.

Here is a song on the same theme.

I went to Little Tree in Royal Oak for sushi today. I wanted to go somewhere other than my usual Asahi in Clinton Township and the other usual spots were closed till dinner. I figured perhaps I should venture outside of my comfort zone.  I was the only customer.

My order:
1 Thai iced tea
1 seaweed salad
1 miso soup
2 salmon nigiri (nigiri should always be in pairs)
1 Wow Roll (tempura shrimp, chili tuna, avocado inside out maki with roe topping)
Total $29.84

The seaweed salad was served slightly cooler than room temperature. Larger serving size than expected. It was unnaturally bright green. Served with a fork, which I found off putting. It was decent and nondescript.
Miso soup was okay. A nice ratio of green onions to broth, however the seaweed had no spring to it when bit. I assume dried and rehydrated.
Visually the nigiri were not the best cuts. The contrast of fat to fish could have been better, though the taste itself was quality. Slightly sweet and very fresh. The wasabi adhering fish to sushi rice was mysteriously absent.
The Wow Roll was eight pieces. The individual rolls themselves were large and inconsistently sized. I dislike large rolls because I find masticating that much food in one bite distracts from flavor and texture appreciation. There was just the right amount of chili spice to the tuna. Avocado was not consistently distributed throughout, and in my opinion they could have been a bit more heavy handed on the roe on the outside. It was delicious though.
The chopsticks were lighter and thinner than I expected. They broke apart at an awkward angle which proved to make use seem clumsy and annoying.
I am aware that most wasabi found in America is in reality green dyed horseradish paste, but this version was truly disappointing. It had a slightly glossy transparent sheen.
The ginger came in very long strips. Much more than needed for a simple palette cleansing.
Thai iced tea is Thai iced tea, difficult to mess up.
Service was swift. A little too swift. My seaweed and miso arrived together and immediately after my sushi came. The server was polite and made sure I had what I needed. He got a nice tip for doing his job.

Despite all my complaints, it wasn't that bad. I've become a bit of a sushi snob. Little Tree although fresh (I assume they buy from Noble Fish. Doesn't everyone?) just didn't hold to enough of the traditional sushi standards I appreciate in this particular art form. I don't know what I was expecting from a place with twentysomething white boys as the sushi chefs, instead of a legitimate itamae. It's just not a place I'd recommend or elect to visit alone again. Upon dinner invitation from a friend I would return. I'd stick to simple salmon rolls or try out some of their Nu-Asian fusion dishes.

Another Personal Letter to Sarah

I wrote an email to Sarah today. Sent it to her email address. I know it will never get to her. I know she's dead. Somehow I feel like I'd rather send it to her email and post her here for me. Instead of putting it on her memorialized facebook page for the world to see.

Of course I got an error message after I sent it. Part of me hoped her email had been left alone and it could just sit there in her inbox, unopened for the rest of eternity.

I think tomorrow is going to be really sad. I had plans to do some major cleaning and packing on my day off, but given the date, I'm not sure it will be a good idea for me to be alone digging through memories.

Foray into Lacquer

So I've gotten really into painting my nails. It's always been an activity that I enjoy, but it has gone from a downtime boredom reliever, to a full blown obsession.  I'm going to start posting my favorite manicures and trial and errors on here as a way to keep track of my favorites. Let's start with the earliest.

Sorry this first picture below is so small. I took them with my phone, then hosted to imgur, deleted from phone, then had to download from imgur to put them on here. All that transitioning really pixelated the image. In the future I'm going to stick with better quality photos from my Canon.

Here we have my first attempt at, well a whole lot. Stamping tools, free hand dotting with a toothpick, applying pearls, and water marbling. I really got carried away. After finding r/RedditLaqueristas I wanted to immediately try out all the cool techniques the ladies over there were showing tutorials for. I was happiest with the matte polka dotted pink pinky nail. Simple is sometimes best.

Purple "Jelly" Daisies

Here I mixed a creme lavender shade with a cheap clear coat to create a jelly polish. Jellies can be layered and layered. Translucent enough to let a design underneath show through. I was really happy with the color and impressed at how long my nails were getting since I started paying attention to them.

 Neon Studs

Probably one of my favorites. Did this one for a fashion show where my outfits were really bright. The studs complemented the "street" vibe of the show. Three coats of Seche Vite to hold the gold studs and dots in place made for a super high shine finish. I kept these on for quite a while. 

 Rainbow Clouds and Flowers

It's hard to tell from the picture, but I did jelly clouds for these so it looks like some of the clouds are far off in the distance. I really liked the effect. The middle nail has grass with tiny flowers and a sun shining. The rainbow on the thumb was fun and not that bad for freehanding with a toothpick instead of a brush.

 Rainbow Leopard Print and Center Strip

These are my favorite manicure thus far. I first made a rainbow gradient on every nail. Then using electrical tape, cut thin stripes placed down the center and painted over with black. The tape was removed immediately and set to dry while I worked on the leopard print using a toothpick. Few coats of Seche Vite and BAM! hot ass nails. I got crazy compliments on these, which always makes me happy.

I just cut my nails down all the way to the quick over the weekend. I was going disc golfing and had a hang nail. I knew if I went and just "dealt with it" I would have wound up breaking it in a painful way, so I just snipped them all down. To be honest it was a good idea since they weren't all even anyway and trying to file down nails that long beyond mere shaping, is quite a chore. I ordered a bunch of supplies online and they've just come in, so it's like a fresh start with a clean canvas and the right tools for the job!

Comics

I got this comic from poorlydrawnlines.com They make funny stuff.

This one is from moonfruitcomics.com  They make comics that are rarely funny, and always true.

Valentine's Day

Today makes me think of lovers past.

Not that I ever really celebrated with them. Valentine's day has typically been just another day to me. I've always operated under the idea that one should show love everyday, not just on one day.

Today I only think of the sweet things they've done for me. The man that spent my birthday weekend with me, making sure it was nice-- unlike the three or four birthdays before. The man that always remembered I love gummi bears and chocolate when I'm on my period. The one that taught me how to do simple car and home repairs so I could be more self reliant. And the one that I thought I would marry. Although we had more bad times than I care to remember, there were also blissful times, beautiful times that I felt truly connected to another human. There are more than I can list, and those are how I think of him. I am thankful for the men that cared for me, even if it was just in passing.

I'm at a point now that my concept of romantic love has changed. I wouldn't have this if it were not for those lessons from lovers.

It's much more than "just holding hands" (although that is my favorite part).
It's more than lust and looks. More than having the same friends and going to the same places.
It's a mutual respect, related interests and differences, similar morals, and shared goals and dreams.
I'm looking forward to exploring these things with someone. Exploring myself and pushing boundaries along side a man who is walking a similar path.

Complaining Cause I'm Ovulating

It's obvious my period is almost here. Everything today is pissing me off, it's the little things that make me realize it. 

Around town:

I live in Hamtramck. It's a small city inside of Detroit that is predominately Polish. For the most part, Detroiters (as defined by those who live within the city proper) don't think Hamtown is worth a damn unless they are going to the bars for a show, or to Polish Village Cafe/ Polonia. Suburbanites pretty much feel the same way except they don't even go to the bars. 

Then comes "Fat Tuesday", the day before Lent. On Fat Tuesday, it is tradition to booze it up and eat as much bad-for-you-food as one can. The primary bad-4-u-food is the pączki. The only legitimate paczkis come from the bakeries in my town.  They start making them a week or so in advance to send out to grocery store chains in the Metro Detroit area. On Fat Tuesday (which is today) Hamtramck is overrun with tourists. 

I didn't even go to the bakery today because I didn't want to have to wake up an hour early just to stand in line for a god damn doughnut. I drove down Jos Campau just to see if maybe I was over exaggerating my memories. Nope. It was even worse than I recalled. Not only were there lines around the block at the bakeries, but there were drunken idiots in the streets. At seven a.m. there were people who were obviously inebriated, strolling through traffic as if the cars were the ones in the way. I shudder to think what the pubs looked like. 

I'm of Polish decent. I typically think it's a bunch of malarkey when people get uppity about their "ethnicity". My family has been in America for almost one hundred years now. I am the second or third generation born here (maternal/paternal). At this point, I identify as an American. HOWEVER, being a Polish girl, who often gets mistaken for an "off the boat Polack" living in a Polish neighborhood, on this specific holiday I'm starting to understand why the Irish get all pissed off on Saint Patrick's Day when "whitey" starts acting a fool and disgraces the whole thing. 
Mostly it's just the disrespectful tourists that irritate me. They double park, litter, and never tip well. My bartenders deserve better than that for putting up with those shmucks.



Shopping for glasses online:

Who the fuck did they pay to take these photos? All of the frames that aren't black, are totally washed out. I can't buy something if I can't even tell what it looks like. Are those clear rims made from plastic? Maybe silver? Perhaps they are held together by magic...

At work:

My office is located in a hotel. It's on the bottom floor near one of the entrances.

I recently put a sign on the door. Been having this problem where people walk right in the office without knocking. This is not cool. Number one, you need to knock on a door when it's closed. It's rude to enter without knocking. Number two, I am not the receptionist. This is an independent business. There are directory signs, that if guests would just read, they wouldn't be bothering me.

To combat this, I put a sign at eye level on the door stating that if you do not have an appointment with [insert agency I work for] please do not knock or enter. It then goes on to say where all other inquires can be answered.

Three, yup three different people walked in today. Not one of them knocked. Obviously none of them were here for me. This disrupts my clients, who already have attention issues, and it irritates me. I wish people would stop and think, maybe read a sign before asking questions or acting upon rude impulse.

I can only imagine how my ride home will be. Perhaps I'll pop in at the bar and have a shot of Jezynowka or jessi (pronounced yeh-jee) with the tourists to calm down before I go stock up on tampons and chocolate.

Fiscal Cliff